Wish for star

Wish for star

To you,

Blue Wednesday,

Was your night sweet as I wished?

I wasn’t. Not a single day, not a single night. My body was gluttonously eaten up by dark, deep hatred. Specter of you splinted itself; I was destined to witness the fading trace. The sincere presence, and your genuine fragrance, they make no sense. They never fell apart. I became curious. Were you always this odious? Or have you just practiced for me?

The day successfully ended- as far as I know.

Cloud was shimmering outside for the dim light embedded upon, a ball of candy floss strings, my favorites. Thus, a snowstorm raged all through the nights. And I, wearing pajamas full of blue stripes resembling the dark of outside, was standing right in front of the window. Looking through the glasses with glowed eyes, then whispered.

Blue Stripes,

Dark as a night sky.

Crushing-

S…T

AR

S

Stars. I can see the stars, crushing and shattering each other. Swirling snows smashed the keen pieces of glaring lights. The broken ones came across the anxious wind, then entangled in the shady mask of Minuit.

Then I watched her.

I had an imagination - an imagination. I was seeing a girl wandering in a barren, desolate desert. She was burning. Once again, burning. The eyes were glaring with lunacy or so-called ‘firm’ madness, and even ‘I’ was scared to see her. Her hair was peculiar, each strand fluttering like wind-blown dust. Then, she craved the long, weak howl. It burst out and filled the vast moor. Hollow scent circled. Reeds were dancing. Corns were yelling. I can see the comets across the night sky like a star with hair flowing behind it, perfectly resembles a lunatic girl. I forgot to breathe. She was there. Under the comets.

Did you expect this to happen? Whether you knew or not, I had no choice but to shiver. It was such a scary night. In my night, broken stars dropped from the spaciousness sky.

The flake, I failed to discern.

Star from snow,

snow from corn,

and everything around capering girl whirl round. Were white flakes everywhere? Yes, maybe the comets were not there. Maybe it was just a snowflake; maybe it was just a fatal of corn blossom or others, why not. Cause the night was full of somber blue. The blue was sweet enough to seduce the girl. Inter nos. I sensed the scent of death, deep down in my throat. She was burning, and so was I. Stars inside. Fires were inside of me. What else could I have chosen?

The night was long and nasty, and the moon showed its dagger flash.

Such a mellow it was, and such horror it was. Dazzling light shot a light on the stage. It was the Stage for only one, vast and clear cornfield. Thus, I plead to you. Don’t leave me green with envy. Don’t leave me alone. Dazzling fire binds me, strains me when I’m alone. I can feel the fire grow its size. No, the fire quickly spread through the field. I can see the fire heating the corn seeds. And, POP. The pure white flakes of popcorn fill the sky. Can you answer my question? Am I seeing the stars falling from the sky, or the white flakes pop-ing from the field? I don’t want to weep, nor I don’t want to sob. So please come to me, as soon as possible. The fire is killing her, and time flies.

Looking through the glass, I can see her illusion, and it was kept in my head for those long, long nights. The fire was eating her slowly from the inside of her body. Soon after the fire gnawed her, it kissed her whole body to leave the trace, for to own and monopolize her. The solid evidence of possession, her rough marks were so ugly that I had to keep sniffing. Without a doubt, they were meant to be the scars for long.

I turned my eyes from the window. Then I saw a burning wood fire in a daze. The embers still glowed in the hearth. Blazing, however, the warmth failed to reach me. It was beyond my capacity for sure. There was dark- but oh, how the stars were shining! A flood of light beyond the window. The bright light was pouring down on the cornfield. Too burdensome, too much heat. I felt the fire in and out. And on the days I’ve been out, visiting all the places that you and I went together. I vividly remember what you said and how you looked — recollecting each moment, each scene. I am missing you dreadfully, dear you. Dark, greedy light finally succeeded to take me over. While the fire was eating me, I wished to the stars upon us. The fire was upon you and me, and I begged. Doesn’t it seem queer for me to belong to someone at last? It seems utterly sweet.

I shall never let your parts go for a single instant.

So I ask you once again

Was your night soft and tendered, as I wished?

Sky falls.

Yours, forever and ever,

Alice

PS. Tonight is such a starry night.

Explanation: 

Do you ever feel like a house of cards,

So paper-thin that you cannot hold.

Already buried deep,

scream, ten-feet beneath the piled-up snows that even you can’t hear a thing.

Do you ever feel like a burst of hatred,

space so blank and vain.

Being full of fire,

disgust, from the deepest and pure color of inside that you own.

This is what it feels like; this is what my past holds.